Best Holistic Life Magazine Fall 2021

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If you’ve ever flown to another destination by air, it is common to hear the announcement, stating the need for you to put on your mask first before lending help to others, especially in case of loss of cabin pressure. The need for this reminder is not far fetched from the fact that some people with a large heart strive to save others during an emergency at their peril. They fail to help themselves before helping others, thus putting themselves and others at a greater risk. During childhood, you must have been taught on the need to appreciate, praise, and love others. But have you ever thought of showering the same encomiums you shower on others on yourself? Rather than praise or love yourself, you feel inadequate and awful to yourself, thus subjecting yourself to inner condemnation, an act that reflects negatively in your relationship and overall lifestyle. The pains that often accompany comparing yourself to others and setting outrageous standards are damaging. The society in which we find ourselves has further exacerbated the problem of feelings of inadequa- cies. It has conditioned us such that we feel complacent in our pursuit of self-love. Rather than deter- mine what standards we want for ourselves, society makes us conform to its socially accepted standards.

Well, past events or occurrences might have warranted the conditioning. Think of an individual who had suffered a series of heartache from pleas- ing people, pursuing career success, or feeling great concerns about their physical appearances. Such an individual could be said to have looked up to societal scale to define their self-worth. Why do you look up to a scale to define your self-worth, or why do you need a significant other to validate how amazing you are? Why don’t you show up every day, look into the mirror and give some love, encouragement, and inspiration to that amazing person that you are? Why not get committed to

If you’re committed to fostering a community, and not just growing a list, welcome to our tribe.

the alteration of societal norms that do not make self-love a conventional concept? If you’re to learn only one lesson this time around, be sure it revolves around seeing yourself as the most important person. However, this isn’t possible when you fail to discover your beliefs, values, and interests. Self-discovery makes you see yourself as unique and view others as only different, rather than better or worse than you. The earlier you realize that some people won’t like you - no matter how much you strive to please them - and you, therefore, need to give up your people-pleasing attitude, the better and healthier for you. By practicing self-love, you are able to define how you want to be treated. Your personality shouldn’t be set based on the ideas or belief systems of others. When you love yourself, you’re simply project- ing an image whose key of self-awareness has been activated. In other words, affirming your beauty, strengths, passion, and vulnerabilities do not come from external views. Rather, you set the standard for yourself. This gives you a firm hold of your life’s rudder. With this self-awareness, you develop stronger resilience to ugly situations and challenges life may bring to you. Treating yourself more kindly gives you the ability to embrace challenges, learn from your mistakes and feedback, as well as recover from setbacks. Above all, your responses to difficult events or situations tilt toward flexibility. This transforms you into an optimistic thinker that activates your creative potentials or problem-solving abilities.

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